How to Give (and Receive) Constructive Feedback

Feedback is one of those words that makes most people instinctively tense up. If your manager sends you an email saying "let's chat about some feedback," chances are you're not exactly jumping for joy. But here's the thing—feedback is essential for growth, and learning to navigate it well can transform both your career and your workplace relationships.

Why Feedback Makes Us Uncomfortable

Think about the last time someone said they wanted to give you feedback. Did your stomach drop a little? You're not alone. Most of us carry memories of poorly delivered criticism—the kind that felt dismissive, unfair, or even cruel. Those experiences stick with us and shape how we respond to feedback for years afterwards.

Our brains are wired to remember negative experiences more vividly than positive ones. It's a survival mechanism that served us well when we needed to remember which berries were poisonous, but it works against us when we need to stay open to constructive input from colleagues.

The irony is that while we fear receiving feedback, we also crave it. Deep down, we know we can't improve without understanding what we're doing well and where we have room to grow. As Matthew Syed writes in his book Bounce, "If you don't know what you're doing wrong, you can never know what you're doing right."

Giving Feedback That Actually Helps

If you're in a position to give feedback—whether as a manager, mentor, or colleague—here's how to do it in a way that actually lands.

Invest in the relationship first. People are far more receptive to feedback from someone they trust and believe genuinely cares about their success. If you only show up when something goes wrong, your input will fall on defensive ears. Build the relationship before you need to have the tough conversations.

Start with what's working. This isn't about sandwiching criticism between empty compliments—it's about grounding the conversation in genuine recognition. When people feel seen and valued for their contributions, they're much more able to hear where they can improve. Just make sure your praise is specific and authentic.

Be honest and direct. Some of the most valuable feedback comes without sugarcoating. Think of it like telling someone they have spinach in their teeth—it might be a bit awkward in the moment, but they'll thank you later. Vague feedback helps no one.

Ask for their perspective. Instead of simply delivering your assessment, invite them to reflect first. Ask how they felt about the situation or what they think went well. This creates dialogue rather than monologue, and often surfaces insights you might have missed.

Make it a regular practice. When feedback becomes part of everyday work culture rather than a rare event, it loses its sting. Regular, casual feedback conversations normalise the process and make it easier for everyone involved.

Remember the human. Behind every piece of feedback is a person with feelings, fears, and their own story. Deliver your message with the same care you'd want if the roles were reversed.

Receiving Feedback With Grace

Being on the receiving end of feedback requires its own set of skills.

Actively seek it out. Don't wait for feedback to come to you—ask for it. Be specific about what you want input on. "How did I handle that client call?" is more useful than "Do you have any feedback?" When you align feedback with your actual goals, it becomes more relevant and easier to act on.

Stay open, even when it's hard. None of us are perfect, which means there's always something we could do better. When someone points out an area for improvement, try to receive it as information rather than an attack. It's about something you did, not who you are.

Manage your defensive instincts. Your first reaction might be to explain, justify, or push back. That's natural—but it's worth pausing before you respond. Take time to really consider what's been said before formulating your reply. You can always disagree thoughtfully after you've reflected, but knee-jerk defensiveness rarely serves you.

Put it into practice. Feedback without action is just conversation. Once you've received input, look for opportunities to apply it. Some changes will feel awkward at first—that's normal. Improvement takes practice.

Creating a Feedback-Friendly Culture

At its best, giving feedback requires generosity of spirit, and receiving it requires humility and grace. When both parties approach these conversations with good faith, feedback becomes less about criticism and more about collective growth.

The workplace thrives when people feel safe to share observations, ask questions, and admit when they don't have all the answers. This kind of psychological safety doesn't happen by accident—it's built through consistent, thoughtful communication and a genuine commitment to each other's development.

Supporting Employee Wellbeing Beyond Feedback

While good feedback practices are essential, they're just one piece of the workplace wellbeing puzzle. The stress that comes with receiving feedback—even when it's delivered thoughtfully—can accumulate alongside other workplace pressures. That's where having the right support systems in place makes all the difference.

Asa.Team's mental wellness features are designed to help teams stay connected to how they're really feeling. With daily mood tracking that goes beyond a simple "how are you?" to capture energy levels, stress, and workload, employees can build awareness of their own patterns over time. A visual mood calendar makes it easy to spot trends—like consistently low energy on Fridays or elevated stress during certain project phases.

For managers, Asa.Team provides team-level wellness insights without compromising individual privacy. The platform surfaces early warning signs like consecutive days of low mood or high stress, allowing leaders to check in proactively rather than waiting until someone is already burning out. A 7-day rolling wellness score gives a quick snapshot of work-life balance across the team.

And because taking breaks isn't a luxury—it's a necessity—Asa.Team includes smart break reminders that nudge team members when it's time to step away and recharge. These small moments of rest can make the difference between sustainable performance and gradual exhaustion.

Whether you're working on building a healthier feedback culture or simply want to support your team's mental wellness more intentionally, having the right tools helps turn good intentions into daily habits.

Asa.Team combines time tracking, scheduling, and mental wellness features in one platform—helping remote and hybrid teams stay productive, connected, and healthy. Learn more about our wellness features →